just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize