Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
