Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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