I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
vagina is talking i cant
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize