i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
