I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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