I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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