I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
