So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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