I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
