just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
