I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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