Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How external is "for external use only"?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
