I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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