Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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