I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
