I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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