last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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