i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
