God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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