I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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