how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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