i think my mom watched the whole time
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
