why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
