I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
