I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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