I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
