arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
