The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
