We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
