Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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