Your tits are I can't wait for
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
