Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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