It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
