4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
