If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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