I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
