dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
