Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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