Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
