i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
