Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
