The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize