I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
