just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
