Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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