Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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