I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
