dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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