Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
