I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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