nut hugger
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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