let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your cock deserves a montage
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
