um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you win again, gameday.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
