so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
