Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
