oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I still have a little drunk in my system
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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