I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
how does that bad decision feel?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
