I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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