RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
