Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
