Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
