Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
