Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize