everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
