y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
