So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
