Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I could fuck to npr.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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