Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
