porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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