why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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